Child-parent agreement: A guide to setting boundaries and building trust

As parents, we want our children to grow up to be responsible, independent individuals. However, we often find ourselves struggling to get our children to follow rules, respect boundaries, and take responsibility for their actions. One effective tool for building trust and encouraging responsibility is the child-parent agreement.

What is a child-parent agreement?

A child-parent agreement is a written document that outlines the expectations and responsibilities of both the child and the parent. It is a tool to help establish clear boundaries and mutual understanding, and to promote communication and accountability within the family.

Why use a child-parent agreement?

Using a child-parent agreement can help to:

1. Build trust: When children know what is expected of them, they feel more secure and are less likely to test boundaries.

2. Encourage responsibility: By involving children in the process of setting expectations and goals, they feel a sense of ownership and are more likely to take responsibility for their actions.

3. Reduce conflict: When everyone is on the same page, there is less room for misunderstandings and arguments.

4. Improve communication: The process of creating a child-parent agreement encourages open communication, which can foster a stronger relationship between parent and child.

How to create a child-parent agreement

1. Start with a discussion: Sit down with your child and have an open and honest conversation about what you both expect from each other. Be clear and specific, and listen carefully to your child’s concerns and needs.

2. Set goals: Together, identify areas where you would like to improve your relationship, such as communication, responsibility, or respect. Set clear, measurable goals that you both agree to work towards.

3. Write it down: Once you have agreed on your goals and expectations, write them down in a document that you can both refer back to. Use clear, concise language, and make sure that both you and your child understand what is expected.

4. Sign it: Make the agreement official by signing and dating it. This will help to reinforce the commitment that you and your child have made to each other.

5. Review and adjust: Set a time frame for reviewing the agreement (such as every six months) and be open to making adjustments as needed.


Using a child-parent agreement is a proactive way to build trust, encourage responsibility, promote communication, and reduce conflict within the family. By involving your child in the process of setting expectations and goals, you can create a stronger, more respectful relationship that will benefit both you and your child for years to come.